One of the biggest challenges in my life is my mouth. I know, it's hard to believe, but it's true. My report cards even from the first grade usually said the same thing: too talkative, chatters too much, talks in class, or any of a thousand variations on that theme.


I never thought I was talking too much. I always thought it was just the right amount. I wasn't trying to be disruptive. Well, I take that back. Sometimes I was deliberately being disruptive, but I promise, usually I just had something really important that couldn't wait.

Those of you who know me, are glad to see that things haven't changed much since I was six. Honestly, I have been vexed with my mouth. I have tried, as I've gotten older, to tame that snake, but it is a difficult task. As I grew older, and hopefully a little wiser, I learned that perhaps I am not alone in my struggle.

The bible contains a wealth of information about controlling your tongue, and even contemporary writers have spoken to the wisdom of guarding your mouth. Life and death are at our own command, with just the small tool or our mouth.

How many times have you spoken a harsh word or an unkind word to someone who didn't deserve it? Do you remember their surprised or stunned look, wondering how you could say such a thing? I have often wondered how I could say such things.

Many of us try to watch what we eat, controlling what goes into our mouth. It's not what goes into your mouth that show's who you are, and what control you have, it's what comes out of a man's mouth that reflects his heart. It is hard to hide who you are when you begin to speak.

If you speak well of others, or ill of them, people will know you by your word. I have given thought about how I'd like to be known among my friends. I would like to be kind, and so I practice kindness. I would like to be patient and forgiving. And I would like to be thought of as someone who never spoke poorly.

Now. To practice that. Once the desire is in your heart you can begin to create that reality. The good news for each of us is that we have control. We have control over everything that goes into our own mouth, and we have control over everything that comes out of our mouth.

While this is a daunting realization, it is also freeing. I am free to sit quietly and take in what is happening. My mouth does not control my brain, and just because I think of the perfect witty comment, sarcastic comeback, or stinging insult, I am in control. I can choose quiet.

A lot of you are probably laughing, doubting that I could really exercise such restraint. Shakespeare wrote in Henry IV that discretion is the better part of valor. It is sometimes more noble to be cautious and reserved than to jump in with every thought that enters your head. I'm really saying this to myself. To convince myself that it is true, to reinforce for myself that I can control my tongue, and that it is a good thing.

I have often regretted a harsh or unkind word, but I have never, ever regretted saying something kind to someone, even someone who didn't deserve it. For many years, when I home schooled my children, we started the day with a memory verse. Time and again, I used a verse from the book of Proverbs, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but unkind words stir up anger.” My children, and more importantly, I learned that using unkind, harsh words served only to make an argument worse, while answering softly could diffuse an argument.

I am learning that how I speak is just important as how much. Often we get caught up in negative speaking about ourselves, our circumstances, or other people. Many parents over the years have admonished their children, “If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.”

There is a lot of merit to that statement. When we speak unkindly about ourselves, we begin to believe what we are saying. And when we speak unkindly about other people, others believe that is how we talk about everyone, even them.

By speaking a positive message we fill our lives with hope, and possibility. When we focus on the negative, about our job, or family, our life, we fill our world with unhappy, unsatisfied, unfilled energy. We are left always wanting more. Always seeking, searching and never content.

Speaking well about your own life will fill you with a sense of well being and joy. When you change your speaking from, “I hate this..” or “This make me so angry...” to “I am so thankful that....” you shift your entire world.

Changing the way you speak regarding your life, your health, your job, your relationships, your kids... that is the first step toward improving those things, and appreciating them for how great they really are.

We don't have to change everything. We just have to change one thing. Today, my friends, I challenge you to remove negative speaking from yourself. If someone is gossiping, you could sit quietly when they are finished, or say “Let's talk about something else.” If you hear yourself complaining about work, stop. Stop talking. 

And then, after the silence is settled, speak your gratitude to the universe. I am so thankful.

Namaste my friends

Spring emerges slowly, as we awaken from our long winter to realize that grass is crunching underfoot, frozen by the night. Light emerges gradually, as the days grow longer by the minute, gradually warming until suddenly we realize that the snow is gone.

What is left is mud. And dirt. The in-between season. Between the harsh grip of winter, and air so cold it brings a cough, and the gentle cool mornings that encourage us to linger. Between those two exists the mud season. Crisp, cold mornings that promise a gradual warming. Mud begins as frozen, inconsequential, until it becomes pliable with the warmth of the sun. And as it thaws, it sticks and stains and follows us into our homes and into our cars and sticks to our dogs as we take them out to run in the newly emergent landscape.

The between season is a time of great hope. I hope spring comes quickly. I hope my bulbs will bud. I hope it gets warmer. We know the spring is coming, during mud season, but we wish away what is, in hopes of something better to come.

Often in our lives, we miss enjoying where we are, in hopes of something better. We put off enjoyment of a middle school concert by hoping that they will play better in high school. We wish our kids would hurry up and get to the next stage. We put off enjoying the present moment, in hopes of better things to come.

Today, I'd like to encourage you that today is the perfect day to enjoy being exactly where you are. You don't have to wait until you get married. You don't have to wait until you get your degree. You don't have to wait until the kids grow up, or you get a better job, or you lose ten pounds. You can be happy now, even in mud season.

All winter long, people complain, wishing away the beauty of a cold, crisp morning when the cold crystallizes the air, turning it into a million diamonds. Then, when the cold gives in and the sun takes over, they miss the beauty of mud season, wishing instead that summer would get here already. And when oppressive heat beats down on dry fields, do people stop to luxuriate in the warmth? No. They wish it would be fall, so the air would cool down.

There's an often told story of wealthy Persian named Al Hafed. He owned a very large farm with orchards, grain fields, and gardens. He was content and wealthy. One day Al Hafed heard about diamonds, and how much they are worth, and he went to bed that night a much poorer man, because he had grown discontent with what he had. He wanted a mine of diamonds. He lay awake all night, mourning the fact that he did not have diamonds.

By morning, Al Hafed made a decision. He sold his property, his acres of beautifully cultivated land and traveled the world in search of the elusive mine of diamonds. He spent his fortune, searching endlessly, for diamonds. Al Hafed spent years, and all his wealth, searching in vain for the riches he desired, until at last, impoverished he cast himself into the sea, and was never seen again.

The story does not end there, however. The man who purchased Al Hafed's property was quite content with the gardens, the orchards and the fields. He loved the property, and cared for it. And one day, in a stream on the property, he saw a glimmer. Upon inspecting the glimmer, this already content man discovered a large diamond. And as he searched, he discovered more diamonds. One of the largest diamond mines ever uncovered emerged from that property, the diamond mines of Golconda.

The story has a moral, of course, as all good stories do.

Do not waste your life, discontent, searching endlessly for riches. Look instead into your own backyard. When you look with new eyes, upon your family, your home, your job, your friends, your town, you will discover that you too, possess acres of diamonds.

No. We will not all be wealthy. We will not all discover literal diamonds. But the true moral is that when we are content, then we are truly rich. We all have a choice every day, to celebrate the diamonds in our lives, no matter how rough, or to search in vain for treasure outside.

I urge you my friends, to appreciate the gifts you have been granted. In the process, you will discover so much more.

Namaste friends

I've often heard the phrase, “Think Globally, Act Locally”. I read the phrase recently again, and this time, I felt differently about it. To be honest, I've never given the phrase much thought. I've never “thought globally”, whatever that means.

The world is a big place, and I have enough trouble keeping up with my tiny corner of it, let alone concerning myself with global affairs. I once had aspirations that I could change the world. A much younger me looked at the world through my lens of self-importance and thought that I could make a difference.

Then real life set in, I had kids, a husband, work. Lots of things to bring my attention to a more realistic level. Somewhere along the way, I lost my idealism and my desire to change the world. I focused instead on getting through life, growing my kids into responsible, loving people, and just surviving. For many years, I didn't think about the world, accept to acknowledge the suffering and hurting happening all around me.

And one day I woke up. I realized that I can change my world. And you can change your world. And together, along with everyone else, we can change the world. Changing the world doesn't happen in one event, unless you're talking about an epic flood or earth shattering meteorite.

Changing the world happens through the daily devotion of common people, like you and me. Changing the world happens when each one of us decides that we can have a positive impact on people exactly where we are today.

Mother Teresa served the world, one person at a time. She said, “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” We can only change one person, that is ourselves. We can only serve, we can only extend love and forgiveness, we can only be kind to those who are right here, right now.

But understand, that in the realm of possibilities, extending kindness to one person today is enough to change the world. Being forgiving of someone's faults or shortcomings, or errors or unkindness is enough to change the world. You will change the world within yourself. You will influence their world.

In chaos theory, the butterfly effect describes a series of circumstances by which a small change in one place results in large differences to a later state, such as the occurrence of a hurricane being contingent on the flapping of a butterfly's wings in some distant location several weeks before.

Although the butterfly effect may seem esoteric and unlikely, such behavior is exhibited daily. A golf ball may roll down a slight incline directly into the hole, or in a completely different direction, depending on any number of factors. And the result of the golf ball missing the hole can set off a completely different set of events than if the ball had rolled into the hole.

It is the same with our lives. A simple act of kindness, a smile extended to an unhappy stranger, a gentle word spoken in a moment of anger, these all have the effect of a butterfly flapping its wings. Whose to say what effect your kindness will have on someone down the road today, tomorrow, or next week?

Even if your smile is met with a scowl, or your kindness met with sarcasm you have still changed the world. You have changed yourself with your kindness. You have released positive energy into the vast reaches of the universe, and it will come back to bless you. Aesop, of Aesop's fables said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted.”

You can change the world. You can change your world. And as you gently work to change your immediate surroundings, you might discover that your whole world has changed. As you extend the gifts of kindness and compassion, you will find others returning your gift. Your life will be filled with people who are kind, forgiving and compassionate.

The Dali Lama said, “My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.” I'm not asking you to change your religion. I am challenging you to change your world, with your kindness.

Namaste friends

Life is often unpredictable. We plan for the future, whether it's planning for a vacation, planning for our children's education, or planning for our retirement. The nature of life is that we look forward to the future, and we think about how things will turn out.

On a daily basis, we make smaller plans: we have an idea of what we want to wear when we get up, what we'll eat for breakfast, what we'll do when we get to work. While we may not have things planned out to the minute detail, even those who say they never plan ahead have a basic idea and a general plan in mind. 

What happens when our plans run amok? When the best laid plans of mice and men have gone astray? Even with the best of plans and the best of intentions, sometimes a surprise will catch you off guard. Julius Caesar said that no one is so brave that he is not disturbed by something unexpected.

And what shall we do, when the unexpected greets us at the door of our planning? I often say that life is what happens while we're busy making plans. The detours come, whether we want them or not.

Sometimes, the unexpected can bring great joy, beauty and pleasure to our lives. Discovering an unknown road, finding a never before read book, being surprised by the sudden beauty of a glorious red sunset in the midst of fire season.

Unexpected events can also bring to life our greatest fears. The unexpected diagnosis of cancer can derail you, leaving you shocked and drained at the same time. The unexpected death of a loved one. We all know that we will die. Every one of us will take that final breath. And yet, when it happens to a child, or a spouse without warning, it is as though God has pulled the final breath from our own lives as well. We are left gasping and gaping, wondering how we will ever go on.

Unexpected, surprising events take many forms in our lives. We long for the unexpected joys and pleasures. Those hidden nuggets of beauty that infuse our lives with pleasure. A new and unexpected friendship. An unexpected burst of sun in the midst of a gloomy day. And as much as we seek those unexpected joys, we strive to avoid the unexpected pains. We try to insulate and isolate from pain, fear and hurt. The unexpected events that bring those things are like unwelcome visitors in the night.

And yet, it is these very events, both of pleasure and pain that color our lives, enriching the tapestry of our existence with color. Tears of joy. Tears of pain. When woven into the fabric of our lives, they shimmer like golden sparkles, reminding us to embrace the unexpected.

When the unexpected happens, we don't have to panic. Take a deep breath, and realize that this too shall pass. This pain as well as this joy will not last a lifetime. Though sorrow may last for a night, the bible encourages us that joy comes in the morning. As the unexpected comes into your life, be thankful for the opportunity to feel something different, to feel something new. Even pain comes to teach us a lesson. Each event that we endure, whether we deem it good or bad, has something to teach us.

Once we have learned those lessons of beauty, those lessons of pain and loss and suffering, it is our task to encourage and comfort others, as we have been comforted. The greatest lesson of the unexpected is to embrace the moment, breathe it in and appreciate exactly where you are today, whether you are in sorrow or joy.

Namaste my friends