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This Little Piggy Went to Market

8/12/2014

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The pig experience came to an exhilarating close last week, when my three youngest children finally showed and sold their pigs.

Back in the spring, we decided to raise pigs for 4-H. You may remember my recounting Spider Pig’s journey to the farm, in the back of my Subaru. It turns out, pigs don’t travel well in cars.

After a long summer of feeding, weighing, and worming pigs, fair week finally arrived.

I thought I knew a lot about pigs, up to that point, but fair week taught me how much I still don’t know.

It started with getting the pigs back to the fair grounds. When they were cute little 97-pound piglets, they could be easily hefted into the trailer, for transport to the farm.

By last week, the pigs were each pushing the 300 pound weight limit. Loading them onto the trailer was no easy task. When a 300-pound pig charges at a 97-pound girl, if she’s learned anything at all over the summer, she jumps out of the way.

My good-natured friend cheerfully herded the pigs toward the trailer, and the kids began closing in on the pigs, trying to coax them into the trailer. As one pig reluctantly climbed the ramp, another pig in the trailer saw his chance to escape. He bolted between legs, knocked down children and fled to the safety of the mud lake at the far edge of the pen. The pigs learned early on that no children would venture into the muddy morass. It was a refuge of cool water for the pigs whenever we came to weigh the pigs. Finally, after more pigs had escaped than were on the trailer, someone grabbed a few scraps of bread. The food tempted the pigs  back onto the trailer.

Once the pigs were at the fairgrounds, they had to be bathed and shaved. Once again, I found myself asking, “Who knew?”

 Someone seriously suggested we bathe the pigs in buttermilk, to soften their skin.

Pigs enjoy being bathed and shaved less than they enjoy being herded onto a trailer. After a lot of screaming, by children and pigs, the animals were clean and ready to be judged. By the time it was over, everyone was exhausted. And this was only day one.

Judgment day came on Tuesday. As I pulled into the parking lot, Gunnar bolted out to the Jeep.

“Mom! Come quick! Sissy is crying,” and with that, he ran off, expecting me to follow.

Upon entering the swine barn, I encountered a sobbing teenaged daughter, who had apparently tripped over her pig, Bill, and had chipped her tooth on the stock fence.

I wrapped my arms around Samantha and tried to soothe her crying. She was on deck to show her pig, and her agitation was clearly upsetting Bill.

I stroked her hair, “Calm down. Take a deep breath. You’re upsetting the pig.”

I chuckled as I heard myself say that. Upset the pig? It reminded me of an old saying, “Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and you upset the pig.” Although we were not trying to teach Bill to sing, he was growing more and more agitated with the chaos around him.

 Samantha showed me her tooth, broken neatly in half at a sharp angle. I stifled a surprised gasp. It was awful. I could see why she was crying so hard.

When the judges called her name, she took a deep breath, swallowed the remainder of her tears, and marched Bill down the walkway to the show ring.

I felt a lump rise in my throat as I watched my daughter put on a brave smile and lead her pig around the ring. What a great kid.

At the end of the day, Samantha and Bill placed third overall, out of a couple hundred pigs, and Samantha learned a valuable lesson about pulling your stuff together in the middle of a crisis and doing your best.

By the time Friday rolled around, the kids and the pigs were all sick of the fairgrounds. The air was electric with anticipation when the stock show began.

Chickens. Rabbits. Lambs. Steer. Pigs. Finally, the Demander kids headed into the sale ring, near the end of the auction. Having never participated before, we still had a few lessons to learn.

Apparently, the kids are supposed to present a gift to the buyers of their livestock. Who knew? Let me just say, to Wendell Fraughton, Don Pedro, and Alta Construction, “Your gifts are on their way. And thank-you.”

Without a lot of further ado, the pigs were sold. The kids were happy until Saturday, when they went to clean up the remnants of the project.

There, alone, stood Bill.

Samantha ran to her pig, wondering if he had been forgotten.

We headed to the fair office, and were reassured that Bill’s buyer would certainly be back, likely soon, to retrieve his pig.

As we headed out to the barn, Don Pedro pulled in to claim his pig.

Hating good-byes, Samantha left so she wouldn’t have to see Bill, loaded into one more trailer, for one more trip away from the fair grounds.

We laughed. We cried. We raised some pigs. When it was all said and done, there were some lessons that I’d like to pass on for all of you:

Never, ever, ever give a pig a ride in your car.

Pigs, like the rest of us, enjoy a kind word and a good snack.

Nothing beats a good back scratch.

You can always do your best, even when things around you are falling apart.

Namaste, friends.

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The Winds of Change

5/21/2014

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Spring is in the air. The scent of blossoms hangs sweet, the warm sun shines longer and birds begin their songs in the early hours before light.

I would say that spring is my favorite season, but that would be inaccurate. My favorite season is whatever season we are in. I love fresh new life that heralds spring. I also love the hot, lazy days of summer. And fall days, luxurious and golden are beauty beyond compare. I even appreciate the brisk cold air of winter.

Spring brings with it a compulsion to change. I want to clean out musty closets, wash the grimy windows and throw out the old sheets. But the fresh clean wind, the cleansing spring rain, and the new energy of spring bring something more.

Many people are feeling a deep longing for something deeper. There is unrest among people I talk to, myself included, that begs to be answered. Ennui set in, following the long, cold months of winter, a feeling of restlessness and weariness that goes deeper than being tired.

Sleep doesn’t quite satisfy. Tedium persists, and the doldrums hang on, in spite of the flowering trees, the singing birds and the buzzing bees.

How to you satiate the yearnings of your soul? Where does fulfillment lie? The question begs to be answered and I wonder what the purpose of being here really is.

You don’t have to quit your day job to find the change you seek. You could, but such drastic steps aren’t necessary. We are here for a purpose. That purpose is to live each day as an expression of who we really are. The problem is, a lot of times we don’t know who we really are, or we lose sight. We become weighed down by the requirements and responsibilities of life.

We are meant to enjoy life, not just endure it. Do you enjoy what you are doing? If the answer is no, then perhaps it’s time for a little introspection. It’s time to allow the energy of change that is so prevalent in the spring to blow through your life and inspire you.

It all sounds good on paper, but the reality of living a life that fulfills you on a deep level can be complicated. There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, work to be done. I know the litany of excuses that prevent people from enjoying life. I use them myself, when I forget who I am and why I am here.

In those times, when you’ve lost sight of your passion, it is time to regroup. Get a piece of paper and a pen and answer the following questions: What would you honestly do if money were no object? What is one thing you dream of doing in your lifetime? What is a skill that you wish you had? What would you do if you knew you could not fail? What are you afraid of?

Start writing and let your subconscious mind speak. Let your heart have its say. After you’ve written for a while, go back and read. These are the beginnings of who you really are. See if you can incorporate something into your everyday life. Spend some time today and everyday doing something you enjoy.

Life is short. Today is a great day to start doing something new. To change something you don’t like. We are here to express who we really are, and to create the life we really want. Change doesn’t have to be drastic to be effective. You just have to commit to doing something different. Even small changes can bring about great happiness. Today is a day to enjoy your life rather than endure it.

Namaste, friends

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Springing into acres of diamonds

3/21/2013

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Spring emerges slowly, as we awaken from our long winter to realize that grass is crunching underfoot, frozen by the night. Light emerges gradually, as the days grow longer by the minute, gradually warming until suddenly we realize that the snow is gone.

What is left is mud. And dirt. The in-between season. Between the harsh grip of winter, and air so cold it brings a cough, and the gentle cool mornings that encourage us to linger. Between those two exists the mud season. Crisp, cold mornings that promise a gradual warming. Mud begins as frozen, inconsequential, until it becomes pliable with the warmth of the sun. And as it thaws, it sticks and stains and follows us into our homes and into our cars and sticks to our dogs as we take them out to run in the newly emergent landscape.

The between season is a time of great hope. I hope spring comes quickly. I hope my bulbs will bud. I hope it gets warmer. We know the spring is coming, during mud season, but we wish away what is, in hopes of something better to come.

Often in our lives, we miss enjoying where we are, in hopes of something better. We put off enjoyment of a middle school concert by hoping that they will play better in high school. We wish our kids would hurry up and get to the next stage. We put off enjoying the present moment, in hopes of better things to come.

Today, I'd like to encourage you that today is the perfect day to enjoy being exactly where you are. You don't have to wait until you get married. You don't have to wait until you get your degree. You don't have to wait until the kids grow up, or you get a better job, or you lose ten pounds. You can be happy now, even in mud season.

All winter long, people complain, wishing away the beauty of a cold, crisp morning when the cold crystallizes the air, turning it into a million diamonds. Then, when the cold gives in and the sun takes over, they miss the beauty of mud season, wishing instead that summer would get here already. And when oppressive heat beats down on dry fields, do people stop to luxuriate in the warmth? No. They wish it would be fall, so the air would cool down.

There's an often told story of wealthy Persian named Al Hafed. He owned a very large farm with orchards, grain fields, and gardens. He was content and wealthy. One day Al Hafed heard about diamonds, and how much they are worth, and he went to bed that night a much poorer man, because he had grown discontent with what he had. He wanted a mine of diamonds. He lay awake all night, mourning the fact that he did not have diamonds.

By morning, Al Hafed made a decision. He sold his property, his acres of beautifully cultivated land and traveled the world in search of the elusive mine of diamonds. He spent his fortune, searching endlessly, for diamonds. Al Hafed spent years, and all his wealth, searching in vain for the riches he desired, until at last, impoverished he cast himself into the sea, and was never seen again.

The story does not end there, however. The man who purchased Al Hafed's property was quite content with the gardens, the orchards and the fields. He loved the property, and cared for it. And one day, in a stream on the property, he saw a glimmer. Upon inspecting the glimmer, this already content man discovered a large diamond. And as he searched, he discovered more diamonds. One of the largest diamond mines ever uncovered emerged from that property, the diamond mines of Golconda.

The story has a moral, of course, as all good stories do.

Do not waste your life, discontent, searching endlessly for riches. Look instead into your own backyard. When you look with new eyes, upon your family, your home, your job, your friends, your town, you will discover that you too, possess acres of diamonds.

No. We will not all be wealthy. We will not all discover literal diamonds. But the true moral is that when we are content, then we are truly rich. We all have a choice every day, to celebrate the diamonds in our lives, no matter how rough, or to search in vain for treasure outside.

I urge you my friends, to appreciate the gifts you have been granted. In the process, you will discover so much more.

Namaste friends

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    Deborah Demander: Writer,
     Speaker, Motivator,
    Healer,
    Lover of Life 

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